Letters to Jackie

From Don

I don’t think that anyone will ever know how much I truely loved her.From the time she picked me up in the bar when she was 21 till she squeesed my hand at her last breath her only actions were to give of herself completly to me and to make as happy as she could. That kind of love I have only had ever was from her and can never be replaced.


From Vashti

During one of Jackie’s very bad episodes, I told her that she had made the world a much better, brighter place just by being in it, and that when her time did come, some of the light would fade with her passing. She said, “But mom, don’t you see? Snowdaughter will NEVER die. My time will come, and I will pass away, but Snowdaughter will live every time somebody sends an encouraging word to someone else who is struggling to overcome a challenge in their own life. I haven’t done anything all that special…all I do is just encourage folks to give life their best effort, to take on the day and make it count. As long as one person does that for another, then Snowdaughter is alive and well cause that is exactly what I do.”


From Deeya

Oh I have slipped the surly bonds of Earth…
That is the first line of the poem High Flight.. and while the poem has to do with flying, I think that line is so appropriate for Snowdaughter… she has left behind the pain she endured to be here with those who loved her and now watches out for you from a more peaceful place.

My thoughts and my prayers are with all of you who knew and loved Snowdaughter… your world was obviously better for having known her.


From Nancyii


Do not stand at my grave and weep I am not there,
I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am a diamond glint on snow.
I am the sunlight of a ripened grain,
I am the gentle Autumn rain.
When you awake in the morning hush,
I am the swift uplifting rush Of quiet birds in circling flight.
I am the soft star shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there, I did not die


I’d like the memory of me to be a happy one.
I’d like to leave an afterglow of smiles when day is done.
I’d like to leave an echo whispering softly down the ways of happy times
and laughing times and bright and sunny days.
I’d like the tears of those who grieve to dry before the sun, of happy memories that I leave behind when day is done.


From Chriss – csh

I know no words can ease the loss or fill the hole left by Jackie’s passing. But I want you to know that my thoughts and prayers are with you. I am somewhat in shock…I guess I always expected her to beat the odds. Her strength, her spirit, her love of life touched many including myself. I don’t know who I will trade tumbleweeds for snowballs now. I don’t know that many people can say they made a difference in the someone’s life. But Jackie made a difference.


From Lillylin

Poem (repeat)

Do not stand at my grave and weep I am not there,
I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am a diamond glint on snow.
I am the sunlight of a ripened grain,
I am the gentle Autumn rain.
When you awake in the morning hush,
I am the swift uplifting rush Of quiet birds in circling flight.
I am the soft star shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there, I did not die



From Eve

You & Snow already know the thoughts in my heart that my words can not say…….

Virginia You are free baby!!!


It looks like it may be later than this springs ferry ride up to AK that I get to “See” you but ya know I see you right now, I see you in all this love and tears and joy and release…It has Snowdaughter on and through out it…
So know we will get over the sadness and peace from your peace will set in on us dont you worry…

Mom will be ok….she will…..

Fly Fly Fly

I Love You Snowdaughter!



From Elinor

hey sis,
i am sitting here in a lesson. i came to school today and decided to check the board. that’s when i saw mom’s post saying CALL ME. I knew right then and there that something was terribly wrong. Normally I would have waited till I got home and called but I was frantically searching my memory for your number till I found it and called her from the cell phone.

Her voice, her “hello” told me everything. everything I did NOT want to hear. she told me that you were gone and I was acting very strong! But as soon as I hung up I started crying which scared the living heck out of my classmates! then I could hear you in my head saying “Oh shut up you whiner!” This is what you would tell me – wouldn’t you?

I am sitting here staring at the teacher thinking Why did you go? what will happen with Don? and Gypsy? and Gab? they NEED you!!! I need you, this WORLD needs you! But then I am thinking how good it is that you are now free and how interesting it must be for you to set out on yet another new adventure.

I will always remember you by that last phone call, the way we laughed!!! Mom said your greatest fear was to die unremembered!! Well Look!!! look at all the people who LOVE you and MISS you! I instinctively told her that we will not let this happen!!!

Sister this is my promise to you and mom and dad! I won’t let this happen!

I love you!


From LauraMich

I can’t help feeling as though words are inadequate to express how very much I wish to extend comfort to you at this time. However, I would like to share this piece from A 3rd Serving of Chicken Soup for the Soul:

Author and lecturer Leo Buscalglia once talked about a contest he was asked to judge. The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child. The winner was a four-year-old child whose next-door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recentlylost his wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman’s yard, climbed onto his lap and just sat there. When the mother asked him what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said, “Nothing, I just helped him cry.”

Ellen Kreidman submitted by Donna Bernard Vashti, Noah…please know that we are all here to help you cry…and laugh…and remember.



From Nancy

To have known Snowdaughter is something I will always treasure. I am amazed at the faith, strength and love she showed us. It took a lot of courage for her to go on, knowing what she had to look forward to. Her sense of humor lifted me up, her faith gave me hope, her strength gave me courage, and her love gave me warmth. I will treasure her Christmas card I received this year. She will be in my heart forever!

I do hope God warned the other angels in heaven that she was coming, for she will give them a run for their money. Snowballs, motocycle rides, and more! She IS an ANGEL among angels. Love and HUGS always, Snowdaughter.


From Betty-DeBe

How wonderful she was in all her profound wisdom.I admired her spunk and spirit.In her passing,you are richer because of the memories you hold.They will become more precious as time goes on.Remember in death one stands on the shore and sees the tall ship with wind filled sails and says there she goes.On the other shore one says there she comes.


More from Don

Jackie and I often talked about this and in my turmoil of trying to defiy fate and the order of things that have already been written,it has come to pass that her place of being is not here, I tried to make it be different and was dragged deeper into the hell of my own making!In this hell I could talk to her but not hold her! During this time the Lord guided me into acceptance that He would watch over her until We could again be. Be together, be a comfort, be in love, be ALIVE and to just BE!! If you will note in your thoughts, every thing you have mentioned boils down to the choice of to be or not. In Websters the definition of be is “to exist” and not is “absence of existance, 0, zip, nada”. We had our time to be and I’m very fortunate!! It is my hope that every one gets a chance to be. But it is not for the faint of heart. Jackie’s true legacy is to grab a hold of life and “Ride like the wind” No, Don’t, Stop, are to be said in a sentence or not at all!!


From Anita

Jade is gone.

Jade was a good person. She lived a full life. She had a remarkable way about her; this infectious positivity that made me realize just how lucky I am to be so healthy. Not terminally ill. That even in the light, or darkness, of death, there are some people who embrace goodness; who can glean the positivity from the mundane. Who take the opportunity to shine – when falling apart would be so much easier.

Jade sent me words of encouragement. Sent me gifts. Told me that I was unique, special, and a good person. I told her that she was like a bright spot of sunshine in a reality I didn’t think I could understand . . . knowing that what she had might disappear any moment. That each catnap could last longer than she expected. That anything important had to be dealt with now.

She’s gone. Forever. 2 am this morning.

This isn’t about me, I just have to say that I don’t know how to deal with this. So I’ve decided that I’m not going to deal with it. Aging, sickness, death . . . I’m not going to deal with this. Damn the whole “you must deal with the reality of this . . . you must learn to deal with the eventuality of this . . . ” I’m not going to deal with it.

Jade is gone. She died. Died . . .

I’ll never hear her voice. I’ll never get a card. I’ll never get a funny E-mail.

I was supposed to send her mother a home-made quilt square to fit into a special quilt for close friends and family. I tried once, with Ulu – putting his paw into non-toxic fabric paint, and dabbing it onto the cloth. He was having none of it, and I got frustrated. So, I kept putting off making another one; something a little less dramatic, but special nonetheless. I promised her mother that I’d have it done and mailed to her so that she could put it together and send it off to Jade.

I promised.

Jade is gone.

I can’t grasp this concept.

She is gone.

No. I still don’t believe it. It’s not sinking in.

I’m not going to think about it. Maybe then it will never have happened.

What am I supposed to do with the stained-glass angel I made for her? The one with pettina’d wings, and wavy blue lines that shimmered pink in the sunlight?


From Sherron

Jackie will live on, not just in the hearts of all whose lives she touched but in those who will be touched and drawn to like living as they realize how much one person can do by just living to the fullest capacity, not allowing herself to be hindered. She has left an awesome legacy to live up to. One which is well within the reach of any and all who after reading remarks regarding her life will desire to follow in footsteps well worth copying. I miss your bodily presence but so much more embrace your spiritual encompassing love.


More LauraMich

Dirge Without Music, by Edna St. Vincent Millay
I am not resigned to the shutting away of loving hearts in the hard ground So it is, and so it will be, for so it has been, time out of mind; Into the darkness they go, the wise and the lovely. Crowned with lilies and with laurel they go; but I am not resigned.

Lovers and thinkers, into the earth with you. Be one with the dull, the indiscriminant dust. A fragment of what you felt, of what you knew, A formula, a phrase remains, — but the best is lost.

The answer quick and keen, the honest look, the laughter, the love, — They are gone. They are gone to feed the roses. Elegant and curled Is the blossom. Fragrant is the blossom. I know. But I do not approve. More precious was the light in your eyes than all the roses in the world.

Down, down, down into the darkness of the grave Gently they go, the beautiful, the tender, the kind; Quietly they go, the intelligent, the witty, the brave. I know. But I do not approve. And I am not resigned.


From TamaraJ

I’m going through tons of emotions like I suppose so many of us are. Mine are of missing her and guilt. Before Jackie got online I “spent” alot of time with her and while Don was away. I called her alot at home and at the hospital. I think the last time was in September when Vashti was there. I thought it was way before that so I’ve made myself feel alittle better. I sent her several packages to cheer her up. Then she got that blasted computer. I thought it would put us together even more because we could email each other all the time. It did the opposite. She was now in touch with the world (CD) and got very busy. I just sorta opened my wings and let her go. But now I wished I would have called more. I did send a Xmas gift and got five min. with her on New Years before I logged off. Now I seem to find the time to check out Cyberangels where before I thought I was to busy with the 50+ board. Maybe this will make it easier on me to heal faster. She knew I was here and loved her and I guess thats whats important. I never thought Jackie would die. Just always be sick. Her voice betrayed how sick she really was. Many of us are probably kicking ourselves for “I wished I would have…..” Jackie would be hitting us with a BIG *S*P*L*A*T hearing us say that. The lives she has touched is many and so her memory will continue on forever. Her determination to get home and get back on line after an episode was just amazing. Her conversations with God had to be something to hear, “No I’m not ready yet I need to get to Cyberangels and post to so and so first”. God finally said, “Jackie I really do need you this time to come home”. She completed His earth plans He had for her . Where we gave her our Angel wings to fly on during her time of need now she has the angel wings to hold us. I bet she’s loving the chance to do that. I’ll miss you Jackie and am so happy I got to know you and your mother. You had to be amazing with such an amazing mother. Love, Tamara